Loneliness: Why Connection Should Be Our Next Wellness “Fad”

As someone who has resonated with holistic solutions, I have always been curious about the hunt for getting well and healing. We are constantly searching for the next thing, and the search for wellness has a habit of frequently sparking the next new thing, or promoting the newest fad.

In recent years, we have seen cold plunges, 75 Hard, “cortisol balancing,” nervous-system regulation, supplement stacks, and increasingly elaborate morning routines all promise some version of better health, better functioning, or healing. Some of these practices can be genuinely helpful. Others get oversimplified, overpromised, or turned into another standard people feel they are failing to meet.

As a counselor who has also worked in the fitness industry, I have seen lots of variations and promises that get people hyped and optimistic, only to leave them feeling defeated and disappointed. In both realms of my work, people were ready for change, desperate to feel better, and asking for guidance on which route would get them the fastest results.‍ ‍

My answer has often felt unsatisfactory and mundane. And as I have evolved in my career, I have learned a hard truth. The fast-paced world we live in is not set up to allow us the time, resources, or energy to constantly pursue wellness. It is a full-time job and privilege in this age of survival. With the amount of work required simply to exist today - and only a smidge of time to let out a breath - we have quickly adopted a disease that can undo many of our best physical, mental, and emotional health and healing efforts: the loneliness epidemic.

So, maybe our next wellness “fad” should get us back to the basics: building lives with more attention, community, and dependable human connection. It is less flashy than a new protocol, but the research suggests it may be one of the most meaningful things we can do for our overall well-being.

The Loneliness Epidemic

This term started floating around due in part to the work of social neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who helped establish loneliness as a serious public-health concern (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010). It gained much greater popularity after the COVID-19 pandemic and after the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness and social isolation an epidemic in 2023, but the literature had shown the negative impact long before then (Office of the Surgeon General, 2023; Ross, 2024).

‍Types of Loneliness

Social and emotional loneliness: The absence of an engaging community or social network, and the lack of intimate attachments or bonds with others (Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010).

Existential loneliness: A deep, internal sense of separation or isolation from the rest of the world. My thoughts, feelings, and experiences are only mine. Even in a crowded room, I still feel alone (Ross, 2024).

It is also important to distinguish between objective social isolation - how many social contacts or interactions we actually have - and subjective loneliness, our internal or emotional experience that our relationships lack the connection we need.

Research suggests that both matter independently across adulthood, although they may affect us somewhat differently. Subjective loneliness appears especially relevant to psychological distress, including depression, sleep disturbance, and fatigue. Objective social isolation is at least as important - and in some studies more predictive - for mortality and physical-health outcomes. In a large meta-analysis, social isolation, loneliness, and living alone were associated with 29%, 26%, and 32% greater odds of mortality, respectively (Cho et al., 2019; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015; Pan, 2025). In other words, a person can have very few relationships without feeling lonely, or be surrounded by people and still feel deeply alone. Neither our actual level of connection nor our felt experience of connection should be dismissed.

What Is Contributing to It?

In a 2024 national survey discussed by the Harvard Graduate School of Education, respondents identified technology (73%), insufficient family time (66%), and being overworked, too busy, or too exhausted (62%) as major contributors to loneliness in the United States. Sixty percent selected mental-health challenges that harm relationships, and 58% identified a society that has become too individualistic (Ross, 2024).

In today’s culture, most of us know that technology comes with both pros and cons. Technology is not inherently bad. When it is used to connect with others, make plans for in-person connection, or build an online community, it can support positive outcomes. When it is used for excessive scrolling, distraction, isolation, or a way to pass time aimlessly (we see you, social media), it can leave us feeling lonelier and more disconnected.

The same survey found that adults ages 30-44 were the loneliest group: 29% reported “frequently” or “always” feeling lonely. Using the same measure, 24% of 18-29-year-olds reported loneliness, followed by 20% of adults ages 45-64 and 10% of adults 65 and older (Ross, 2024).

Not surprisingly, 81% of adults who reported loneliness also said they experienced anxiety or depression, compared with 29% of adults who were less lonely (Ross, 2024). Loneliness, anxiety, and depression can also reinforce one another, making it difficult to identify one simple starting point.

The Impact

What we know about loneliness is bleak. Research by Cacioppo and others suggests that chronic loneliness can function like a biological alarm, increasing hypervigilance for social threats and affecting sleep, stress regulation, cardiovascular functioning, immune functioning, cognition, and mental health. It has been associated with high blood pressure, elevated stress responses, altered gene expression, weakened immunity, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, and reduced executive functioning (Cacioppo et al., 2015; Hawkley & Cacioppo, 2010).

The longer-term outcome data are equally concerning. A 2015 meta-analysis found that loneliness was associated with a 26% increased likelihood of mortality, while objective social isolation was associated with a 29% increase. A separate meta-analysis involving more than 300,000 participants found that people with stronger social relationships had a 50% greater likelihood of survival. Another systematic review linked poor social relationships with a 29% greater risk of coronary heart disease and a 32% greater risk of stroke. Taken together, the health impact of inadequate social connection has been compared with other well-established risk factors - including the often-cited comparison of smoking up to 15 cigarettes per day (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010, 2015; Office of the Surgeon General, 2023; Valtorta et al., 2016).

These findings do not mean loneliness single-handedly causes each outcome. Health and social connection can influence one another in both directions. They do show that connection belongs in our understanding of health rather than being treated as an optional extra.

What We Can Do

While the statistics are a bit – yikes - there are steps we can take to make a difference in the loneliness epidemic. Cacioppo suggested the EASE program (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008):

E — Extend yourself. Start with small, low-risk social actions. Talk to store clerks, give someone a compliment, or engage briefly with people while you are out and about. The goal is to safely begin interrupting the withdrawal and threat response that loneliness can create.

A — Action plan. Take greater control of your social life. Think about what you enjoy, what you have time for, and where people with shared interests might gather. Volunteer, join a group, or choose activities that naturally involve other people.

S — Selection. Focus on quality over quantity. Invest in people who share your values and who are safe, supportive, and capable of mutual connection. Choose environments where repeated contact and common interests make connection more likely, and take the time to reach out regularly.

E — Expect the best. Challenge negative, fear-based interpretations. Try new situations with a sense of optimism, or reframe them as experiences rather than pass-or-fail tests when you are worried about discomfort or rejection. Loneliness can prime us to expect social threats, so learning to question those expectations is part of changing the cycle.

Building a Secure, Hyperconnected Life

In his book Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine expands the idea of security beyond one romantic relationship. He describes building a “secure village”: a network of dependable, mutually supportive relationships across friendships, family, work, community, and everyday life (Levine, 2026).

Levine calls the small cues that build this safety SIMIs - “Seemingly Insignificant Minor Interactions.” An answered text, a calm tone, a familiar greeting, someone remembering what mattered to us, or a person reliably following through may appear minor in isolation. Repeated over time, these interactions help create an emotional safety net (Levine, 2026).

His CARRP framework describes secure relationships as Consistent, Available, Responsive, Reliable, and Predictable (Levine, 2026). The goal is a securely hyperconnected life: enough dependable connection across different areas of life that we are not asking one person - or one relationship - to carry every need for closeness, reassurance, support, play, belonging, and understanding.

This type of connection can help us move into what Levine calls “secure mode” or “resilient mode,” creating protection against stress, consumerism, and digital overload. It also gives us a much more practical understanding of how connection is built: through steady, repeated experiences of responsiveness rather than only through rare, emotionally intense moments (Levine, 2026).

In a 1942 letter to Joë Bousquet, philosopher Simone Weil wrote, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity” (Weil, 1942, as cited in Ratcliffe, 2016).” Maybe that is also where rebuilding connection begins - not with a perfect social life, but with offering another person our real attention and allowing ourselves to receive theirs.

Getting Back to the Basics

It is important to engage in good mind-body practices as well: daily movement, adequate sleep, and time outside. But wellness cannot rest entirely on what an already exhausted individual can squeeze into a morning routine.

On a larger scale, funding social infrastructure - public parks, safe walking spaces, accessible gathering places, and community-focused events - has been shown to support connection and combat loneliness. In the Harvard survey, three-quarters of respondents wanted more fun community activities and more accessible, connection-focused public spaces where they lived (Office of the Surgeon General, 2023; Ross, 2024).

It is also important in our Western culture to encourage intergenerational care. Connecting younger and older people can offer meaningful mental, physical, and emotional benefits across age groups while allowing knowledge, care, purpose, and belonging to move in both directions.

There may never be one fast route to feeling better. But if we are looking for the next thing that can support our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, we may need to look at something ancient and ordinary: noticing people, showing up consistently, creating places to gather, and building a life in which connection is part of how we understand health.

References

Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. W. W. Norton & Company.

Cacioppo, S., Grippo, A. J., London, S., Goossens, L., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2015). Loneliness: Clinical import and interventions. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 238–249.

Cho, J. H.-J., Olmstead, R., Choi, H., Carrillo, C., Seeman, T. E., & Irwin, M. R. (2019). Associations of objective versus subjective social isolation with sleep disturbance, depression, and fatigue in community-dwelling older adults. Aging & Mental Health, 23(9), 1130–1138.

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLOS Medicine, 7(7), Article e1000316.

Levine, A. (2026). Secure: The revolutionary guide to creating a secure life. Penguin Group.

Office of the Surgeon General. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Pan, X. (2025). The effects of subjective and objective loneliness on depression in older adults: The mediating and moderating role of self-efficacy. Alzheimer’s & Dementia, 21, Article e097137.

Ratcliffe, S. (Ed.). (2016). Oxford essential quotations (4th ed.). Oxford University Press.

Ross, E. M. (2024, October 25). What is causing our epidemic of loneliness and how can we fix it?Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Valtorta, N. K., Kanaan, M., Gilbody, S., Ronzi, S., & Hanratty, B. (2016). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for coronary heart disease and stroke: Systematic review and meta-analysis of longitudinal observational studies. Heart, 102(13), 1009–1016.

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If loneliness is negatively affecting you, and you’re looking for additional therapeutic support - reach out.